Musings of Mad Woman

I've decided that my next adventure should be home improvement.  Did I hear a big sigh of relief out there?  What, nothing dangerous you ask?  Yeah, I know what all of you are thinking.  I think you will approve of this next project.  I have always been afraid to try to fix things or paint things around the house.  I am definitely not a do-it-yourselfer fixer upper.  I would really rather pay someone to do it than try to do it myself.  So in the spirit of getting outside my comfort zone, I am going to attempt to paint all my upstairs rooms & my downstairs bathroom. Now I thought I should start with the bath rooms, but my daughter-in-law says they are actually the hardest rooms to do.  Shows you how much I know.  So maybe I'll start with my "guest" room upstairs.  That will thrill my cousin since right now it's her room as much as it is mine. Not sure what color I'm going with, but it has to go with the very light shade of green honeycomb shades. I don't really want to paint the walls green because I want to paint my bedroom a shade of green.  So I'll go to Lowe's to get some ideas, supplies & will go from there.  My next step is to find out what supplies I need.  I know I'll need a drop cloth, roller brush, paint brush & pan, what else though?  Some of that blue tape I was thinking so I don't paint the places I don't want to paint. So anyone out there who wants to give me a list of must haves, please do so.  I know I'm going to need a ladder, but when I went looking for one they were all over $100 & there were so many to choose from that I got overwhelmed & left without any ladder.  Now my son says they got a ladder for $25-$30 & for the life of me, I can't find a cheap one, so please enlighten me.  They're not at Lowe's or Walmart in da 'burg that's for sure.  Maybe I'll look at K-Mart.  Funny enough, I've been finding some pretty good deals there lately.  Anyway, that will be my next adventure.

But first it's off to the wild hot west!! I'm going to see #3 child graduate from his community college.  I am thrilled to say the least.  Even though he is already at the state university on his way to a 4-year degree, he is going to "walk" at the graduation.  I am just so proud I cannot stand it.  And I'm not just proud of him.  His bride has a lot to do with this accomplishment & I am over joyed that she has done everything to help him accomplish this important goal.  Love to both of them for working as partners. 

I think I have come a step closer to figuring out why the weekends are tougher for me than the week days. Unless I have plans to travel, where I am so comfortable in my car which is another whole thing, I really have trouble getting myself out of the house.  Weird, huh?  I think it's that comfort thing, safety thing, control thing I've got going on.  I just don't want to go "out there".  There may be a little aggraphobia going on, I don't know, but I've had this feeling before.  When I did full-time family home day care many, many years ago, there were times I didn't leave the house except to go to the commissionary or to church.  Some of it was because I didn't have any appropriate clothes & I was extrememly self-conscious about my weight, but I think it was also a feeling of being unprepared & fear really.  I just put so much energy into keeping everything else together that I guess I was exhausted & afraid.  I remember that is when my migraines started.  I didn't really know what a migraine was until I felt the pain so badly I couldn't move my head.  I needed a wet washcloth across my eyes, the room as black as night & total quiet.  I had to lay motionless & pray the pain would go away.  I had the worst nauseous feeling but never got completely sick. What a nightmare.  The migraines continued for many years even when we moved to the 'burg.  I can't remember though when they stopped.  But I haven't had one in a very long time.  I just thought about that.  I can't remember the last time I had one.  But the problem of leaving the house has raised it's ugly head again.  I couldn't leave the house today.  I missed Easter. I missed the fun of my grandchildren running around looking for Easter eggs.  I can't explain it. And tomorrow I will get up & go to work to start all over again.  Incredible. Every time I think I'm one step closer, I fall back 2 or 3. I can at least say, now I'm starting to recognize these things.  I guess that's a step in the right direction.  I guess it's time to make another appointment.  Honestly sometimes I think I'm making progress and other times, not so much.  Today was a not so much day. 

Today Ms. Wannabe doesn't have a clue.........